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Sonder

by Sonder

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1.
Blue Skies 03:04
tell me, what the fuck did all those letters mean? you told me all your dreams and that you're coming home to me and i waited this out and i made every damn day count but when the clock ticked down to nothing, all your fire had burnt out. but i search the skies for blues like you, i think i'd die to be like you. i watched you walking off the stage and i knew the lights were drawn and i was drowning in you you had become my new sun, setting my roots on fire to put them out. so now i live with the moon again, but i light matches with daydreams in my head. someday, i will catch fire. but i search the skies for blues like you. i think i'd die to be like you. i watched you walking off the stage and i knew the lights were drawn and i was reaching for nothing in a cold dark room where i used to find you letting your flowers bloom all over the floor. you left them red and warm to stain the woodwork. you were battling headwind storms.
2.
if i could get your back against the wall, there's a strong possibility you'd get plastered on, just like you always did on the weekends, making sure not to make memories or friends to fall back on. bet you didn't think you'd find me here. i gave you chances to run and you crawled, i gave you so much to chase. i gave my body and heart to you on a goddamn silver plate but you don't give a shit about the passing of the days. i gave you chances to run and you just left them, swept under the rug. i've been finding homes in other beds, but i haven't been sleeping much again. i've been finding "love" in other beds, if love is just a method to forget all of this i'm so sick in the way i play my game, you're getting sick on the bathroom floor again. we're both sick of the back and forth and back again, the same old bullshit. i'm so sick in the way i play my game, the way they'd only guess and i'd never tell. the way i spin my web, the way i knock em dead, the way i send em straight to hell. i took the blood from my eyes and i painted the sheets on your side of the bed, painted a silhouette landscape, it was a series of yellows and reds. but it's been days, been weeks, been months since you've stopped to rest your head. if all is love in a fair war, our bullets are all spent.
3.
i feel like i've been awake for days, my head's a mess and my eyes are glazed. i think i missed the message tone when you called me to come back home but now my body's full of poison, of pills and i'm taking off alone. i'm laying down here in the rain, praying for blue skies, sunny days or a drowning fate, a dowsed out grace. and i'm not satisfied, no, i'll never be satisfied so i'm raising hell just to watch the world burn. i've got a bird in a cage and she know's what i'm singing, she knows all the words and she knows how they're ringing. she's got beautiful eyes and a golden heart, but the space suffocates her, it tears her apart and her wings are all broken so she can't even fly and i can't afford to feed her so she's destined to die. i'm raising hell just to watch you burn in it. so here we are at this point in the cycle again, there's blood in the sheets where we said our goodbyes through salt-dried and rusted-shut eyes. it's shameful, the things i find comfort in when everything i love becomes everything i lost mouthful after mouthful of whatever i find will keep my heart from fighting on.
4.
Flapjacks 04:46
i miss you just when it's least convenient, when you're already packed up and walking out the door and i found home between the sheets of every bed that would let me in, now just look at the shit it's been bringing me you gave me a new life when mine had become too much for me and maybe i'll never be happy with anything but at least with you, i had a home to come back to don't try to tell me i'm not god when you were the one who got me believing it. i tried to give you all that you wanted when i feared that you'd pack up and walk right out the door but you weren't sure of anything you ever told me you'd want for us now just look at the shit i've left in front of me. you're so insincere in all of your avoided apologies and maybe i'll never understand what you're thinking but at least with you i thought i could keep breathing. don't try to tell me i'm not god when you were the one who got me believing it. maybe i could forgive you for all of this but i'm not sure you deserve it. at the end of the day, i'm still singing along, singing along to your shitty-ass songs.
5.
remember the day we stayed up and watched the sunrise? i watched waves crash and skies break in your eyes. we gave up on everything that year, scarred our hearts and wrists to find happiness here. you walked out onto the breaker and stuck your middle fingers up at the other side of town. i'll never forget, that was the moment i knew you. i'm falling asleep as the sun's coming up. i wish i could wake up feeling like this. i watch you watching me through a computer screen at 3 AM when you used to be calling me don't tell me you're not fucking afraid i know there's way more to you than the shit you take and i hate to think that we're sitting here, hours away, thinking the same thing. all these late nights in all the wrong states have got my veins tied to places i may never be.

about

recorded in august 2013 by thom tadsen

credits

released February 11, 2014

ralph, devon, julia, jon, will

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Sonder Erie, Pennsylvania

dogs rule.

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